A lot has of crazy stuff has happened since I last told you about my flight from Amsterdam to Prague. (some even crazier than a corrupted Windows and a full re-install)
I was planning on heading to Turkey, the Caucasus or the Middle East, while @NEVO was leaving Turkey for Baghdad. I understand he has arrived in the meantime, he must have been around Sri Lanka when I left Prague one rainy afternoon with an MD-82 packed with Ajvar (a ‘paprika’ (red bell pepper I guess) spread) and beer. Both local specialties, with especially the latter being a lot cheaper there than in Amsterdam.
Some impressions from the departure where I was still fighting the autopilot.
My destination: Baghdad!
I ended up about 2,000 feet too high on final due to some miscalculations and being a bit late with dialing in the right pressure on the altimeter.However the weather was lovely and I couldn’t see anyone else around so I decided to just circle gently down.
Perfect!
Upon landing, I was expecting angry Iraqi Aviation Authority personnel, but instead I was greeted by this fellow:
Elf: “That was quite a landing pattern you did there!”
Me: “Who are you?”
Elf: “Doesn’t matter, but aren’t you the pilot who also flew an MD-82 recklessly low through Czech this morning? It was all over the news. You must have quite some balls to fly like that, especially with those low clouds!”
Me: “I don’t see why I would respond to such ridiculous accusations.”
Elf: “Well, it just so happens Santa Claus needs a reckless pilot. I know what your plans are with all the food and drinks in the back, but you are needed for another, more dangerous task.”
Me: “Wait, how do you know about the Christmas Flight? Could it be…”
Elf: “Oh this again: you think I’m just some jackass in a costume. Well this is what an actual elf looks like, so get used to it. You have to take off as soon as possbile, file a flight plan with destination New Delhi right now. I’ll brief you on the way there.”
If this guy is not who he says he is, this must be the worst idea on how to hijack an airplane…
On the way to Indira Gandhi International Airport, the Elf told me how some of the usual Reindeer flights from the North Pole HQ to the distribution center in Christmas Island had been shot down in the Himalayas by the Yetis (Santa’s archnemesis). I’ll save you the details that the elf told me but this is the image he drew up in my mind:
The cargo has been retrieved by some of the numerous climbers who visit the Himalayas, and brought to the base stations. However, all of the certified pilots were completely booked for the entire season: all flights were full of climbers and their gear, and it is not easy to find planes or pilots who can fly into places such as Lukla.
The pilot had been found, that part was clear now, but the plane?
You have no idea how much elfs love story-telling: by that point it was morning and we had reached VIDP.
Elf: “You are to fly to Lukla, retrieve the Christmas cargo there and bring it to Christmas Island: I will find some other pilot to fly the MD-82 with the beer and bell pepper stuff, don’t worry, anyone can do that. Heck, maybe I’ll do that myself.”
Me: “But what about the plane? There’s not that many planes that can fly into Lukla besides the Dornier 228s that the local airlines fly in there and you said all the usual airlines are fully booked.”
Elf: <Cough!> “The smog… Well the Dutch Coast Guard aren’t as busy during the winter season and it just so happened that they were flying one of their Dornier 228s to HAL for a major overhaul. You can fly their Dornier through the Himalayas all the way to Christmas Island if you want.
All the necessary bribes are in place.
Fly fast.
Fly recklessly.
See you in Christmas Island.”
Note: I used HD mesh v3 scenery for the Czech part of this AAR, and Ortho4XP for New Delhi. Baghad is stock X-Plane 11. Planes: default X-Plane 11 MD-82, Carenado Do228.
Good to see the FO Kai is making the trip this year.
