Very nearly 1,000,000 parts, not flying in loose formation… Twice 
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Story time!
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OK then. The first time was on exercise at Shoalwater Bay, one of our bigger training areas, for the annual Brigade level ex.
I was a CPL, surveillance detachment commander (very similar role to the US Army LRS), and we were deploying by Blackhawk to set up an OP. As the Det commander, I got to sit between the loadies with a headset so I could see out front and communicate with the pilot/s. The other four guys in my crew were sitting fat, dumb and happy at the back with hearing protection.
Anyway… There we are, nap of the earth and as we raced over the saddle in a ridgeline instead of a valley there was a sizable hill directly ahead. Something like this but without the cloud:
That was when I heard what no passenger ever wants to hear a pilot say - "Oh, F@ck’
The next sequence of events only took seconds but it seemed an eternity. The pilot reefed the aircraft around, approaching a 90 degree bank and as I looked over at the starboard loadmaster, he was as white as I probably was and mouthed the word ‘sorry’. Behind him I could see the rotor chopping through the top of the trees… Looked back at my guys and they all had ■■■■ eating grins on their faces, my 2IC even gave a thumbs up. They thought we were getting a ‘joy ride’. Ignorance definitely is bliss!
Put down in the nearest clearing. Waited about an hour for another Blackhawk to show up, mechanics got off, we got on and continued the mission.
The second time:
Can’t go into much (if any) detail due to where we were and what we were doing but we were ‘almost’ shot down. Didn’t get to count the bullet holes in the fueslage, luckily small arms fire and nothing big but I am gobsmacked that nothing vital was hit. So, yeah… I hate helicopters.
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This absolutely cracked me up, I just gotta ask:
Was the LM a Canadian on an exchange tour?
(Sorry, Canadians.)
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Well, he didn’t soil his flightsuit… So probably not Canadian 
Sorry Canadians 
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Now that I’m retired, I am seriously contemplating writing a book. Fiction obviously, because I don’t want to go to jail for violating the ‘Official Secrets Act’… and if it was real, nobody would ever believe it 
The story will centre on a plucky and devilishly handsome former Intelligence Corp NCO who survives and succeeds in a number of daring missions. Solely through pure dumb luck and not his awesome ninja skills… and along the way manages to get the girl 
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If you write it I think you would definitely have a good fan base here 
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And now it has been 8 years.
Wheels
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The internet is now a soulless, dead place full of fakery, asinine behavior, and lorded over by transactional, money-grubbing people obsessed with generating as much empty, ad-driven content as possible for the purpose of amping up emotionally-driven factionalism that in turn drives up algorithmically-ruled greed that drains humanity of its last vestiges of grace, dignity, truth and warmth…
And then there is Mudspike. Happy anniversary friends, I am so glad that I found you.
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And we are glad to have you here with us.
This is a special place and you fit right in.
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