(Why aren’t you guys suffering from this? It is truly horrendous. If I had extra Claude tokens, I donate them to Discourse. Let AI fix what those lowlife humans clearly cannot.)
And to continue the grump: Music. Specifically music in public. In a moment, when I explain the levels at which it needles my brain you will naturally attribute it to my age. It’s not my age. I’ve always been this way. If you know me, you’ll recall my dislike of gifs. The malady may be mine alone. I don’t expect anyone to share my rant and the unique architecture of my brain that powers it. What I want to know from each of you is simple: do you like music in public; restaurants and stores specifically?
Now to the details of my rant. Today I needed to go to home depot. I dragged my daughter with me, poor thing! When we entered, the music was turned up to about 7. Announcements, all in Spanish, were the only islands of peace from the curse of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” (a song I like but only in its place. Home Depot isn’t that place.) My mission was to get a plastic plumbing cap to cover the broken backflow preventer of our old sprinkler system so that I could use the spigot that shares its pipe. Two minutes into the search for something the store was guaranteed to stock, I had to say to my daughter, “Let’s go.”
She knows me. But this baffled even her. I just cannot think with music blaring in the background. It’s f-ing maddening to me. We next went to a local hardware store cutely named “This and That”. No music. Helpful staff. I got what I wanted in peace. I NEVER eat out but I had spent an hour on the bike before hitting Home Depot and was starving, and so was she. I suggested Korean. By reputation they rarely disappoint here in north New Jersey. The first place was loud—of course!. But the real reason we walked was that it was strictly all-you-can-eat for $30. I eat like a pigeon and my daughter eats like a parakeet. We were not the target customer for that place. Next door was a Korean bakery that also served the basics. This place was typical for Korean businesses. My daughter (who is Japanese) calls the vibe “Uncanny Valley Japan”. That’s spot on. Things are nice but weird. It’s hard to describe. The bakery had a ceiling that was twice as high as the floor plan. It reminded me of the tobacco barns I sometimes worked in as a kid. Obvious non-functioning stick-rafters crossed the eaves of the high ceiling. But most important to me were the speakers attached the the rafters which blared k-pop to the empty bakery. This dial was at a high 9. Anyway, we ordered. We ate. We yelled over the music about her maybe-yes-maybe-no trip to Uganda. And I realized then and there why I never eat out in America. It’s not the bad food. It isn’t the prices. It’s not the tipping industrial complex. It’s the music.
I eat out constantly in Europe. This is never a problem for me there. Well OK sometimes but when it is, the music is live and usually comes wearing lederhosen. THAT I can actually enjoy. Is music piped into the stores there? I shop weekly and I can’t even say. If there is music, it’s dialed down to 3 or 4 and even my crazy ass can tolerate it.
Back to America, when I go to Tractor (Aviation) Supply it is even worse as the music is country. Simple cords set to men whining with extra twang. They sell tractors and horse food so I guess if music is required then it must be country. But why is it required? I’m buying bolts and sandpaper, not practicing my Texas two-step.
I know. I am an old man on a cliff shouting through a rain and gale that cares not one whit how I feel about music.
But I do feel better. Thank you.