Inspired by a ‘swearing in the workplace’ post in Visual Jokes or Intensity - Visual Jokes or Intensity - #4233 by Scoop
Circa 1992. Location: Surveillance Platoon, 1st Division Intelligence Company - Platoon planning office. The quotes might not be 100% correct but definitely sum it up.
The lads rock up to office after PT one morning to find that some prig has placed a large mason jar with a neatly printed label “Swear Jar”, “Gold Coin Donation”. on the counter just inside the door.
“What the ■■■■ is this ■■■■” was exclaimed by one digger (and in far more colourful language by most). “Who gives a ■■■■, it’s a donation, so it’s ■■■■■■■ optional you dickheads” said one of the wiser soldiers…
About this time one of the new Subbies (Lieutenant) poked his head into the office.
At this stage it should be pointed out that seeing an Int Corps LT in the wild was a rare thing - Much like enlisted soldiers, they had to earn their stripes in an Arms Corps for 12-18 months before they did their initial Int training, followed by some intermediate courses and usually their first posting was as a Captain… Which is why our Platoon Commander was a Captain.
This particular specimen was in the process of transferring from the Army Reserve (Territorial Army for the Brits, and more akin to National Guard for my US friends) to Regular Forces. So, he was in a bit of a holding pattern until the next Infantry ROBC started and had been ‘seconded’ to us for some OJT in the meantime. Anyway, back to the story…
“Oh, G’day Sir, didn’t see you there, some stupid ■■■■ thought this would be a good idea” - said one of the Corporals and points to the jar
“Yeah, I wonder who that fuckwit was” and numerous other opinions on the matter ensued.
“Ahem, that would be me” said the Subbie. “Gents the language around here is rather ‘blue’ and it is rubbing off. Only just last night I accidentally swore in front of my Mother”. “I thought if we had to put a gold coin into the jar every time we said a word such as ■■■■ or ■■■■, or heaven forbid ■■■■, then it might be a bit more civilised around here?”
“So Sir, you’re saying this isn’t really optional?” “Well in that ■■■■■■■ case, this should tide me over until ■■■■■■■ mornos” - places a ten dollar note into the jar.
Rapidly followed by the rest of the Platoon doing the same with everything from a handful of loose change to a fifty!
- the usual morning banter ensues while we wait for the Boss (PL Commander) and SGT to arrive.
Next to arrive was the Sarge, who spies the jar. “Oh for fucks sake. what stupid ■■■■ thought this would be a good idea?”
From the back of the room a very sheepish LT raises his hand, “Oh, that would be me Sergeant. I just thought…”
“And what where you going to do with the money, Sir?” interrupted the SGT.
“Well, donate to a charity” said the LT.
“Sir, please come with me so that I can explain the ‘administration of non-public monies in the ADF’. The rest of you lot carry on, the boss will be here soon.”
And that is the incredibly brief history of the Surveillance Platoon swear jar. For those who are wondering, all the money was put over the bar at the next Platoon ■■■■ up.