Hey, if the Uzi was good enough for the secret service on the day someone tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan, it’s good enough for me! 
…
My personal fav submachine gun … the UMP 45 …
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Hmmm, I might have to migrate my tank warries from the GHPC thread to here?
@Aginor I both feel and share your pain about a marksman’s badge.
Back in 1990/91(ish) and the ‘powers that be’ decided it was time to crack down on Wednesday Afternoon Sports (sporties). No longer could we use it as an excuse for an early knock-off and go to the Pub. If we weren’t actually participating in a sport (or other approved activity) then it was work as usual.
One of the enterprising Corporals managed to get shooting as an authorised activity and a group of about twenty of us would sign out a rifle (L1A1 SLR) and head to the range for three hours every Wednesday.
After about three months of putting at least 200-300 rounds downrange each week we were told that this week we would be doing somthing a bit different. Starting at the 300m mound and moving forward firing from different positions at static and moving targets. It included a number of ‘tricky’ serials such as (iirc) 5 rounds at 5 targets within 10 seconds @ 100m - but including a magazine change.
At the end of the day we were all gathered together and the NCO who had been running the range practice said “anyone who got more than 210 points (once again iirc), step forward”.
All but a couple did. He went on to tell us "congratulations, you have just passed the applied marksmanship qualification.
This was a pretty big deal. Not a lot of soldiers outside of Infantry battalions got to sew ‘Crossed Rifles’ on the left sleeve of their dress uniforms:
The regulations had only recently changed. Not that long prior to me qualifying, you had to re-qualify annually. Now, as long as you re-qualified within 12 months of the initial qual you got to keep those sweet Crossed Rifles forever.
Fast forward about 10 months and a group of us who were still going to range every wednesday arvo asked when we could do our re-qual. By this time we had put thousands of rounds through a SLR and could shoot the wings off a fly at 300m… 5 rounds in 10 seconds with a mag change, pfft I reckon I could do it in 5. We were all extremely confident that we would pass.
That was when we received some bad news. It seems that the lazy, pogue, REMF, MF, POS, RAAOC clerk at RHQ had never entered the results of the initial qualification into Routine Orders (RO’s). Not in RO’s means it doesn’t exist and we were subsequently ordered to unpick the Crossed Rifles from our uniforms. To add insult to injury, we all had to then buy new shirts because the area where the badge had been was less faded than the rest of the shirt. That clerk doesn’t know how lucky he was that he had posted out by then!
We all did manage to qualify (again) about a month later, but there was also a minimum time between attempts (about 6 months) and I didn’t get that opportunity again because I had Corps transfered to Int.
Of all the things about my time in the Army that I might be ‘bitter’ about. This tops the list.
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If that had happened to me, I don’t think “bitter” would have covered it. Perhaps “livid” would be more apt!
Well it may not be official and you lost the badge, but you all know you actually did what it takes, paperwork and regs notwithstanding.
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Yeah, knowing is one thing but it shows others (at a glance) what you can do and have done.
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When I went through basic in ‘76, it was raining the day that we shot for qualification. My glasses were fogging and steam was rising from my M16A1’s barrel. Yes, that’s right, triangular hand guards and a three-pronged flash suppressor. 20 round magazine that the DIs instructed us to download to 18, for reliability.
Anyway, I couldn’t see shite and missed what had until that day, been easy, the 300 yd silhouette. I grew up hunting and shooting and had won some youth rifle matches, so it hurt to not qualify Expert. The drill sargent scoring me was not in the slightest bit sympathetic, stating something like, “There are no second places on the battlefield trainee.”
Ironically, I qualified Expert with hand grenades, which I think was mostly out of fear. I couldn’t throw that thing far enough IMO 
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Sigh…wish we’d had a chance to do that in the Navy. It would’ve made “repel boarders” drills SO much more fun, especially down in the engineering spaces.
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Probably the second scariest item that the Army taught me to use… The scariest (as in most dagerous to the user) was a chainsaw.
At least I never got to use a flame thrower. I only ever saw one in action once, at a firepower demo in 1989 or 90. The grunt with the flamethrower and another about 20ft behind him with a big arse fire extinguisher with the pin already pulled and ready to go. No thanks!
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Chainsaw isn’t nearly as dangerous as it’s made out to be. I can’t imagine it being nearly as dangerous as any weapon, let alone a motherlovin’ tank. Like many powertools it needs to be respected and never ever treated as a toy. One needs to be awake and aware when handling it, but other than that, one can put an eye out with a screwdriver too!
I don’t love my chainsaw, but I don’t fear it. Now the miter saw, once I saw the velocity at which it launched a bit of bankirai hardwood, that thing makes me wary…
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Agree, like any tool if you treat it with respect and ‘follow the rules’ it is quite safe. But a chainsaw was the one piece kit that was most likely to bite the unwary.
These days hardly a week would go by without me using a chainsaw to harvest firewood, clear deadfall, etc. I love my Stihl Farmboss. And just like when I ride a motorcycle, ATGATT (all the gear all the time), I wouldn’t even contemplate starting it without chaps, helmet, gloves, hearing and eye protection.
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Oh dear, that reminds me of another shooting range story I have from my time in the military. I’ll post it soon, y’all will probably find it funny.
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This made me laugh so much. I always wondered why flamethrower teams in the old Close Combat RTS games were two guys, now I understand the second was carrying the big fire extinguisher with the pin pulled!
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The night my tank caught fire!
When I joined the Army, every soldier posted into 1st Armd Regt as a driver and progressed to loader/radio operator then gunner and finally crew commander (CC).
I think my IET (Initial Employment Training) course was the first that spent an extra three weeks at Gunnery Wing, School of Armour after completing the Drivers course and marched into the Regiment qualified as drivers and loaders. This was because the Regiment was severly undermanned and a lot of the tanks only had a crew of three - CC, gunner and driver. For live firing (static) the driver would pull up at the firing point and then act as loader. For mobile shooting (battle runs) you would ‘borrow’ a Trooper from another tank to act as loader.
It must have been late '88 or early '89 and I was the driver (and loader) of 11B.
We were out on the range for a few days of gunnery practice and at the time we had a decent ‘bomb load’ on board. The 13 round ready rack was full and the wine rack (main ammo storage next to the driver - so called because it resembled a wine rack) was about half full. Let’s call it 20 rounds, so more than 30 105mm rounds on board in total. 105mm ammo unlike rifle ammo is electrically detonated. The breach of the gun didn’t have a firing pin that struck the base of the round, instead it had a firing needle that made contact with the base of the round when it closed and when the gunner pulled the trigger it would pass an electric current through the detonator to fire it. And it didn’t take a lot of current. Apparently you could set one off with a 9V battery (according to one of the instructors on my loaders course)!
Usually at night we would run double staggered piquets with one crewman keeping watch and another manning the radios - two hour ‘shifts’ with an overlap. i.e. you start by keeping watch with NVGs for a hour, the guy on radios would then go and wake the next guy, you would then man the radios for an hour while the next person kept watch, etc.
Because it was a gunnery excercise we were ‘semi-tac’ and only had one crewman on watch at any time, standing in the loaders hatch and primarily manning the radios (the radios are located on the loaders side of the turret and with double staggered the ‘lookout’ was done from the CC’s hatch so you could fire the main armament if needed).
I was on piquet and only had about 10-15 minutes to go before I could wake my relief when I heard a noise. It sounded a bit like the snapping of twigs/small branches. Here we go, I thought. Someone is sneaking up on us to see if we have posted a watch or are all catching ZZZZ’s. Couldn’t see anything through the NVGs though? There it is again a snap/crackle noise, but that sounded a lot closer? Still can’t see anything out there?
Next moment ‘snap/crackle/crackle/woosh’ and the inside of the turret lit up. I looked down and there are sparks and flames shooting out around the turret floor in a lovely halo accompanied by a distict ozone aroma of burning/arcing electrics!!!
I don’t remember getting from the hatch to the ground… it was that quick. I ran to the back of the tank where the rest of the crew were sleeping and shook the CC awake “Johnny, the tanks on fire”.
Once he was fully awake Johnny Gordon the CC, took one look and said “Well get in your F’ing hole (drivers position) and turn the master switch off”.
I kind of recall whimpering “Do I have to?”
Remember I said that 105 rounds are electrically detonated? They came with what as known as a ‘base safety clip’ because of this, but the only way to stow rounds in the ready rack is to remove the clip. The scariest thing I have ever done was get back on the tank, reach into the drivers compartment and turn off the master switch.
Luckily, as soon as I did this the arcing stopped and apparently any fire also went out… by this stage we were all not only well away from the tank but 11 and 11A had also moved well out of the way.
It turns out that something had failed with the ‘rotary base junction’ which is the electrical power coupling to the turret and every movement of the turret was basically grinding aluminium shavings. Couple that with a lot of current…
The photo below was taken early next morning. I had walked over to 11A (Troop SGTs tank) as their ‘new’ loader while 11B was out of commission. The driver took one look at me, said “rough night” and before I could reply took the shot.
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Oooh been there, though never with 30 rounds of 105mm possibly about ready to cook off. Most of mine have centered around an absolute excess of human bodily fluids on a call for service.
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Not to make light of your suffering @Harry_Bumcrack but that story was amazing.
What a lucky escape.
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Petrol Disc cutters are my nemesis. I absolutely hate the things. I can fix them with my eyes closed but starting them up and especially using them is just the worst.
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Aye, I’m so glad my disc cutter runs on batteries. Less noise, fumes, moving parts and weight.
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HUH? 
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Never seen such a thing hendheld. I only know these either on a cart (for cutting asphalt) or like a miter-box saw for cutting paving stones.
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They can also be used for cutting open the ticket machines outside rail stations by unscrupulous people…… it makes a bloody mess 
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