That’s like the usual one at work …
Customer : “how longs the next train mate ?”
Me: “4 carriages”
You do have to be a bit careful who you do this to 
10 Likes
Fortunately for me this worked out well. I was quite young at the time and had nothing resembling tact. In fact I still don’t have very much.
Anyway I was working at a store when a Vietnam vet came in. We had a nice conversation, and at some point he started listing his injuries from the war.
(Apparently none of them were debilitating)
He pointed out how he’d gotten shot in the arm once, and later shot in the leg; later still, he got shot in the other arm…
He was describing another wound in his shoulder when I blurted out with wide eyes, “Jesus guy did you ever learn to duck?!”
Fortunately, He fell over laughing rather than cursing me out.
16 Likes
If the Geneva convention doesn’t have a ban against such monstrosities, it should!
5 Likes
Clöstersurströmming surely!
5 Likes
Äch! You are right!
1 Like
Lol, how funny. That meme describes exactly what I was going to be using as the theme for my next thread. Going to need to use a desktop instead of my phone to input it though.
Wheels
I have been on the receiving end of ‘You must try this, it is a Swedish tradition’…
However it wasn’t too bad, a thin sliver on some toast with potato and tomato, not a big chunk straight out of the can. I did what my hosts did and blocked my nose when I ate it 
3 Likes
Sliced durian would have a similar effect.
We used to just do the Beavis&Butthead laugh, but these days there’s a procedure for everything.
Sigh.
4 Likes
There must be a button you can push to pipe it into the cabin, yeah?
2 Likes
Senator McConnell has apparantly become famous for speaking in public but forgeting where and who he is
7 Likes
… was always a regular occurrence to mr Jagger, he’s used to it.
3 Likes
Having read the comments on the Scandinavian delicacy slightly fermented fish. I can assure @Troll and @Hangar200 that UK also produces to an equaly high standard. These are tasting notes by an American wine connoisseur of ‘Buckfast Tonic Wine’. Much loved by alchoholics because it is the most alchohol per pound you can buy. And it is cheap.
Buckfast Tonic Wine (No Vintage)
Screw cap, took it off about 30 minutes before to bring in some air. Apparently made by monks in England. Decided to try while cooking dinner. Poured into a glass, first glance has a very inky almost brownish color that you see in older wines. Very syrupy, liquid clings to the side of the glass when swirled. Almost 15% ABV.
Stuck my nose in and was hit with something I’ve never experienced before. Barnyardy funk (in a bad way) almost like a dead animal in a bird’s nest. A mix of flat Coca Cola and caramel with a whiff of gun metal.
On the palate, overwhelming sweetness and sugar. Cherry Cola mixed with Benadryl. Unlike anything I’ve tasted. I’m not sure what this liquid is but it is not wine, I’m actually not sure what it is but it tastes like something a doctor would prescribe. A chemical concoction of the highest degree. Can only compare it to a Four Loko.
Managed to make it through a couple small glasses but not much more. Has absolutely ruined the evening drinking-wise for me as I tried to drink a nice Bordeaux after but the iron-like metallic sweet aftertaste I just couldn’t get out of my mouth even after a few glasses of water. I don’t drink a lot of coffee regularly so I also have mild heart palpitations from the caffeine after just drinking a bit of this and feel a slight migraine.
An ungodly concoction made by seemingly godly men. I believe the Vatican needs to send an exorcist over to Buckfast Abbey as the devil’s works are cleary present there. After tasting this “wine,” the way I feel can only be described as akin to being under a bridge on one’s knees orally pleasing a vagrant while simultaneously drinking liquified meth through a dirty rag.
I’ve drank a lot of wines in my life and will never forget this one.
11 Likes
Abbot: brothers, our monastery is not doing too hot financially. We need to turn things around. Ideas?
Brother A: we need to make booze. Beer, wine, something like that. Works really well for the Belgians and French.
Brother B: but we need to stand out. Otherwise we’ll be lost in the noise of the full shelves.
Abbot: yes! Let’s make a wine they’ll never forget!!
Narrator: and so they did.
7 Likes
6 Likes
You have a way with words sir.
1 Like