That seems to be the way of things these days, and not just in the simming community. I think the problem is that online, you can pretty much say what you want without any repercussions and with a degree of anonymity. That emboldens some people who would maintain a far more civil demeanor if they were discussing issues face to face.
Thankfully we have Mudspike!
This “mudspike” thing comes up from time to time. And while I am grateful to Mudspike for being so civil and welcome, I also spent too much time wondering WHY it’s such an oasis among this massive SM dungheap. And I think I’ve hit on it. Yes, Chris, Troll and others are the gatekeepers and they do yeoman’s work. But the key is that Mudspike isn’t selling anything nor is it dedicated to any particular sim or genre. DCS-dot-com isn’t a free space nor should it be. It is a place to sell stuff and discuss stuff so that people buy more stuff. The word “forum” is both a curse and a truism. It implies a town square where citizens discuss ways to make life better. No internet “forum” does anything close to that. But lots of dudes got beat to death in the real Roman Forum so maybe the word fits.
I about died at this. Thanks, I needed the chuckle today! 
I want to point fingers and I think everyone here knows where I fall. It’s cathartic, for sure, but isn’t at all constructive. Cool, I can blame party A. What have I accomplished, exactly?
Internet discourse is intellectual junk food far too often. What could be potentially informative discussion that grows everyone’s perspective is now just a race to be the most polarized cretin you can possibly be since being the loudest turd floating in the bowl is what so many seek out.
And we’re getting this from, supposedly, grown-ass men. Adults actin like kids in the 1990s arguing about Sonic vs. Mario. Even more scary? Some are parents. My dudes, when you tell your kids they can’t have junk food until they finish actual nutritious meals, you’re following that same urge. It’s patting yourself on the back and telling yourself you’re a cool dude while not actually growing and learning as a person.
We’re all capable of doing better than that. Except Super Cub pilots, I swear to god if another one cuts me off in the traffic pattern, on final, and gives me a smug “Oops, I just didn’t see you and I don’t have a radio, teehee” I’m throwing a brick through their window.
I always loved the dichotomy of the supposed civilized Romans who actually freely assaulted one another so flagrantly, visited Sparta to watch kids get whipped as part of some twisted theme park celebrating Sparta’s golden era and, all the while, ignoring its obvious shortcomings, but the blood thirsty gladiators almost always lived after fights and kills were rarities and just bad luck.
When FB (and it’s ilk) came about…prior to that actually…I turned to my wife one day, on the way to work, “I’m sure people will act online just like they do behind the wheel; they feel ‘protected’ in their ‘shell’ and thus act like arse-holes…”. I was right, but it wasn’t a mental stretch to get to that conclusion, really. It’s worse online, but the same basic trait I suppose.
It takes more effort to NOT respond emotionally virtually; easier when there’s the potential for physical repercussions IRL. In general men by nature ‘get this’ - except online.
I’ve watched the behavior of men when meeting, in person, that are strangers to each other. Their posture, positioning, stance, eye-contact, etc are different than when it’s two women. Can be subtle. I don’t pay that much attention anymore, just something pointed out to me years ago so I notice it more.
Being a moderator on multiple forums has forced me to be be calculated in most of my responses. Especially on the forums I moderated. It is way easy to take something written in a post out of context, especially if the post is written matter of fact. It is also another reason why I am such a smiley fanatic when I post.
I know it does not seem to be the norm on the Internet but when something someone posted really gives me lock jaw I will step away and give myself some time to cool off before I even considering responding. More than once someone else has posted responding to the post that gave me lock jaw and they had a completely different take on the post.
Wheels
Wheels
That’s how I became moderator for several forums. I just don’t engage from a certain point on.
I can agree to disagree and don’t need to have the last word.
Now that I think about it, I did have a few not so great internet moments, but they are single digit over many years, and most of them are long ago. I just hate drama.
Being a game server admin forces you to be the opposite. You start out nice, but because gamers almost always want to devolve into chimpanzees on speed? You have to become a certain behavioral archetype that psychologists call “a dick.” You should avoid giving into the peanut gallery, because there will always be cheerleaders, but you need to ignore them and remove people who are disruptive very promptly.
If the whole server is chaos, then you need to address it.
For example:
The 3rd game I ever adminned a server for was CoD4 back when it was new. One day I log in to find the server a cacophony of Gamer Words™ and LGBT Slurs™. My solution?
This was a 64 player server. I set it to Shipment. Anyone who played CoD4 online will know exactly what this means.
It was glorious. It was like throwing an M-80 into a chicken coop.
I try not to be unilateral on the forums I have adminned but I also do not engage in back and forth arguing on those forums either. However I will give Warnings regarding your behavior via private messages and depending on your response or lack thereof I will decide my next course of action.
Wheels
Admin servers much depends of age of users and the deep of infraction. For example in games like popular shooters like cod or battlefield, if someone are sluring oustrageous things on the chat = kick and temp ban. If he did again = perma ban. If he is hacking = perma ban. If he have bad behaviour (like changing teams to stolen vehicles) = warning, if he insist = kick, insist = ban. etc etc etc
In foruns i always defend the things be cleaned, without arguing, on DM/PM to avoid public shame. If it goes public always exist supporters on both parts and became a mess. And avoid arguing because exist guys that their all purpose of their lives is trolling and flame wars, and if you enter into their arenas is feeding them.
I was admin of multiple gaming servers in huge clans and also task of being admins controller and teacher and all these worked very very well even against annoying trolls.
I was just made a moderator of a somewhat popular subreddit that’s prone to a lot of what I’ve long called Dunning-kruger lack of understanding about the relevant subject matter, for a variety of reasons. But one factor I keep encountering over and over again is how many of the comments we’re removing, reports we’re ignoring, and users we’re kicking are coming from pretty obvious kids in middle or high school, once you take a casual look at their comment histories.
I am mostly fine with people expressing an opinion. If I don’t agree with it I will either ignore it or provide facts about why I think it is wrong.
It is only when it involves personal attacks or is disrespectful of other forum members that I think the ‘ban hammer’ needs to come out.
I am moderating at least 4 sites now, at one point when I had a less active job around 8 or 9.
I look up to the moderators, because society has become so self entitled it’s insane.
As someone who does the IRL version of forum admin’ing, I can’t imagine doing it for free on a volunteer basis.
It’s funny 'cause it’s true!
I know what you mean. For me it was the most rewarding… and frustrating task I ever had.
There is no way I would do it for free.
Believe it or not, the MS Xbox / Turn 10 forums were prolly the worst community, due to the Avg age of most of the users being teenagers.
ED Forums were actually pretty well behaved in comparison.
the few sites I moderate for now, are geared to an older audience, so outside of merging threads and an occasional lock to avoid illegal discussions, it’s very quiet.
The problem is when folks think their opinions are facts- especially since the subreddit deals with nuclear power- and there’s a LOT of misinformation out there.
