Visual Jokes or Intensity

One thing I never do is tick-off a person who is bringing something I intend to put inside my body…this lists includes, waiters, waitresses, fast food employees and nurses…but not doctors…they’ve got the whole Hippocratic oath thing so, they can’t really f-you overtook bad, on purpose…just say’n.

On the tipping thing…

I’m actually a Baby Boomer. My parents were “Finest Generation” which, aside from fighting WW II meant they had been brought up in the Great Depression. They were very bad tippers. I tried to call my Dad on it one time (like a barely 10% tip), in a polite way…it didn’t go over well…my mother referred to it as the “unfortunate incident”. After that, I would distract them while my wife ran down the waiter/waitress and gave them enough to make up the difference.

My point…and I do have one…is that that some bad tippers are that way for a reason…in my parents case, it was their experience in the depression. For others…

Tips are a “reward” for good service. Maybe the $1 tip was a message?

jenrick · April 2, 2019, 12:54am

You have obviously never taken a drunk that was too drunk for the jail to the hospital. Said subject is royally p***'ing off the staff, and finally litterally just starts p****ing in the air from the bed he’s secured to (he had a hand free and urinal right there, he was just being an a**). Doc walks in, takes one look, turns to the nurse:

“Obvious loss of bladder control due to intoxication, he needs to be cathed, and by the flow rate he has a full bladder, so the biggest foley we’ve got.”

I had to hold the guys feet down while they cath’ed him with something that looked big enough to defuel a B-52.

Don’t even get me started on IV lines, if you’ve never seen an interosteo, it’s a trip and not in a good way.

Hangar200 · April 2, 2019, 1:16am

LOL!!!

That said…after my stroke I had (still have) bladder “issues”…it wasn’t working correctly…nuff said.

So they give me a test.

First, I am strapped into this contraption…kind of like one of those spin-around 360 in every direction things…but not nearly as fun…and it has an X-Ray thingy pointed at my lower abdomen.

Then, they place electrodes at various spots on my privates, to include past my sphincter (if you get my meaning).

Next they insert a catheter into…well through you know where…and into my bladder.

Finally comes the “Test”: They start pushing a saline solution with a radiologic dye, into me…through the catheter. They tell me to pretend I am on a long car ride on the highway. I am to tell them when first have to “go”, when I really have to go, when I have to go at the “next the next exit” and when “Pull over! Pull Over! I have to go NOW!”

People get all upset about the US Government Water Boarding suspect terrorists, but what I went through…before it was done I had confessed to 911…and killing Jimmy Hoffa…and where Long John Silver buried the gold…yeah, it was that bad.

So maybe I should include medical techs to my list…although to their credit, they didn’t seem to enjoy it…all guys…they felt my pain.

Bearhedge · April 2, 2019, 2:39am

Oh man - that sounds really unpleasant. I’d happily choose going to the dentist instead!

Franze · April 2, 2019, 5:36am

I think I found the true winner of April Fools…

schurem · April 2, 2019, 7:25am

You know old man, I think I prefer your other sea stories
Of course the doctors that thought up that “treatment” read comic books when they were little, saw the evil scientist and thought “That’s who I want to be when I grow up!” Hypocratic oath my ***. Hypocritic oath!

Of course what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So now you can make any doctor grovel in supplication through mere looks alone, right? Right?

@Franze yeah the lock thing is very funny indeed.

HavlokUK · April 2, 2019, 9:51am

Is it bad that I couldn’t laugh at the Mr T post above because I was too niggled by the ninja turtles’ bandanas being the wrong colours ? I swear my pedantism is getting worse.

komemiute · April 2, 2019, 10:07am

They’re actually right…